Atmosphere Change...

Something has changed.

I can't really put my finger on quite what it is.

Perhaps a metaphor will help. If my life over the past two and a half years has been like a sheet, hung up and blowing in the wind, God has been stitching a hem on me, piercing me in and out with threads of Himself such that He has crossed into every part of my life. There have surely been good times, but the predominant sentiments of the last two and a half years have been purposelessness, pain both aching and stinging, and finally utter despair. And, suddenly, something changed. And when something changed, EVERYTHING changed. Since Christmas, God has been pulling on those stitches, and, almost, it seems, miraculously, all things in my life have begun gathering, and coming together. It's crazy. And everything is different.

40DP recap.

The closing ceremony went great. The turnout was not what I had expected, nor did I expect to lose my voice during the second song of the many, but it didn't stop the Holy Spirit from showing up and bringing joy, comfort, revelation, boldness, and community. I heard stories about healing, testimonies to God's faithfulness, sovereignty, and redemptive works, uncontrollable contagious laughter in the Holy Spirit, words of knowledge, and many, many answered prayers. I made at least one new friend, and deepened relationships with several others. It was totally confirmed to me that I am doing the right thing and am in the center of God's will for this stage of my life. For the first time since moving to Ann Arbor, I feel as though I have a real reason to stay.

As a short sidenote, I've gotten involved with University Christian Outreach this semester, despite my initial concerns that it would end the way each of my ministry involvements have gone so far in Ann Arbor: with a lot of acquaintanceships with well-meaning individuals that I like, but just can't seem to REALLY connect with. So far, it's going GREAT. This is my first experience with Christian ecumenicism, and I am so encouraged to see so many wonderful, giving individuals readily opening their lives up to each other, to the world, and to whatever God may have for them, no matter how radical or unusual. These people are Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Charismatic, Nondenominational, Methodist, etc, but are all liberated by faith in Christ, and share that joy and freedom so readily. Even though I haven't been able to make their prayer meetings a regular part of my life (more on that to follow), the relationships I have formed show great promise, and bring me great joy. I feel alive with them. In two weeks, they are hosting a "receive the Holy Spirit" time, and I am so far beyond excited. I love the idea of setting aside time to ask the Holy Spirit to come and fill us and do whatever He wants to do. I didn't grow up Charismatic (this is an over-the-last-year development), but I have always believed in giving God the ultimate benefit of the doubt. I believe He CAN do anything. So maybe He will.

I have so much to talk about.

It's my own fault for not being faithful to write this stuff down when it actually happened, and letting it back up.

So. Next thing.

I can't explain the gravity and purpose that I am feeling. But I'll surely make an attempt.

Through my increased involvement with PrayUM and 40 Days of Prayer (did I mention that they very suddenly put me in charge of pretty much everything after less than a month of involvment?! When God has a job for you...man...buckle your seatbelt.), I met an amazing girl named Julia who has long been nursing the dream of a 24/7 house of prayer in Ann Arbor. Here is where the already-scattershot story becomes more like a hyper-elaborate tapestry (I have actually woven tapestry before, and am never going to do it again if I can avoid it). Maybe I can make it work by overgeneralizing.

Through an elaborate redemption story, I have (rather quickly) gotten into the things that are going on at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO. I have always resonated with prayer, again, because of the belief that God can and may do anything, and He loves us, so it can't hurt to ask. People argue about the "authority", and "power" in the life of the believer, and the idea of "anointing" can often be a point of contention among Christian denominations. But the privilege of prayer in itself is SUCH a heavy authority. We have been given the power (and, in such, I believe, the responsibility) to petition the Pre-Existent One for basically anything. And He is good. He delights to give good gifts to His children.

7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

I am now rambling. In any case......oh heavens. This story is just getting too too too long. There is so much I want to talk about. Like how God answered the wrenching cry of my despairing heart over Christmas, the sometimes turbulent process of becoming (and staying) single, the relationships that God has miraculously healed....the long-term ankle injury that God also miraculously healed....miraculous circumstances surrounding my upcoming (tomorrow!) trip to International House of Prayer.....the ever-strengthening current of student leaders independently catching the vision for a 24/7 prayer house....the points of connection that keep popping up with other prayer movement leaders and my intense desire to connect and train together with them......a crazy afternoon where I watched the Spirit of Christ prevail against wickedness, poverty, doubt, and worldly obstacles....a very possible encounter with an angel....one of my best friends accepting God's call to long-term missions in Malaysia, of all places.....another close friend sent to Morocco for the same reasons....the Luke 18 Project, the KC Boiler Room..... Are you seeing how this could (and has) quickly become entirely too long of a post? If there's a particular story you're dying to hear....hit me up, and I'll be happy to tell it. I just don't want to drown this page in rambling monologue.

See if you can count the loose ends in this post. All the stories I started and didn't finish.

God is just......whaaa......He is so busy in my life, with stories begun two or more years ago finally coming out into the open and beginning to make sense.

Something has changed....everything has changed. He's just taking me higher and higher and higher every single day. Every day, something changes and He just comes out on top, looking more and more faithful and more and more good, and His plans for me seem bigger and bigger and I find myself less and less afraid. I wake up each morning thinking, "Whoa. This is just TOTALLY different than it's ever been." And it has all happened so fast. Just in the last two months. I think I say more bad words now....but sometimes when I get excited about Jesus, it's hard to think of more appropriate things to say. Heh. Funny how that works. "Out of the same mouth flow praise and cursing....this, my friends, should not be..."

Maybe time to work on that :)

Ok. Stop talking.

I'll be more disciplined this week when I'm in KC to document these insane adventures.

Thanks for listening....